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[The following, possibly apocryphal story appeared in this morning's (28/03/91) Glasgow Herald.]

Lord George Brown, when the band struck up at an embassy function, asked: "Beautiful lady in scarlet, will you waltz with me?"

"Certainly not," was the reply. "First, you are drunk. Second, it is not a waltz, but the Venezualan national anthem; and third, I am not a beautiful lady in scarlet, but the papal nuncio."

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