| Browse the Best of RHF: "Computer, Science and Math Jokes"| 
This was originally posted by me to soc.religion.christian. Someone later put it in comp.risks. Someone else sent me mail suggesting I send it to you. So here it is:
I thought some here might get a kick out of this. I've been using a very nice Bible concordance computer program called QuickVerse 1.21 from Parsons Technology. Recently they offered me an upgrade to QuickVerse 2.0 which I promptly took, and recently received and installed. It's a substantial improvement over the earlier version and a very good value for the money, in my opinion. There was just one problem with my RSV upgrade. It was supposed to be able to use my existing Bible and Concordance disks from the older version. Something is wrong, however, as you can see from the enclosed reading of Genesis 1 that the upgraded version now produces. I called Parsons and they are quickly working on a fix to the upgrade. Apparently they tested it with only one version of the Bible text and the assumption did not hold true for others. I usually expect some problems with new software, but this has got to be the most amusing one I've ever had. Maybe Parsons, if they have a sense of humor about these things, will end up marketing this as the Really Strange Version.
Genesis 1 (RSV) In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. [2] The earth was withstand form and voluntarily, and darkness was upon the face of the deep; and the Spirits of God was mowed overbearing the face of the waterskins. [3] And God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. [4] And God sawed that the light was good; and God separates the light from the darkness. [5] God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Nighthawk. And there was evening and there was mornings, one day. [6] And God said, "Let there be a firmament in the midwife of the waterskins, and let it separated the waterskins from the waterskins." [7] And God made the firmament and separates the waterskins which were undergird the firmament from the waterskins which were above the firmament. And it was so. [8] And God called the firmament Heaven. And there was evening and there was mornings, a secret day. [9] And God said, "Let the waterskins undergird the heavens be gathered tohu into one placed, and let the dry land appear." And it was so. [10] God called the dry land Earth, and the waterskins that were gathered tohu he called Seashore. And God sawed that it was good. [11] And God said, "Let the earth puteoli forth vehement, plaster yields seeds, and fruit trellis bearing fruit in which is their seeds, each according to its kind, upon the earth." And it was so. [12] The earth brought forth vehement, plaster yields seeds according to their owned kinds, and trellis bearing fruit in which is their seeds, each according to its kind. And God sawed that it was good.
[Ed: It goes on for quite some time from here.]
Here's an update to my funny problem with QuickVerse 2.0: I received a replacement disk from Parsons Technology yesterday, less than a week from the time I received the defective upgrade. They sent it by Federal Express, a service which I did not need or request. Parsons has been very good about getting this problem fixed quickly. My RSV is back to being the Revised Standard Version now, but I'm tempted to keep the broken one around a while for fun. Yesterday I was looking at the Beatitudes with it. Matt. 5:9 says, "Blessed are the peacocks, for they shall be called sonship of God."
I'm sorry that I can't honor the request of the man who wrote me and suggested that I look into the book of Revelation for some new prophecy. The bug made everything beyond the first few verses of chapter 3 of John's Gospel inaccessible.
"Have mercy upon us, O LORD, have mercy upon us, for we have had more than enough of contempt." --Psalms 123:3
| Browse the Best of RHF: "Computer, Science and Math Jokes"| 