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[ This is original so far as I know, in that the addendum to Freeman's
  commentary is my own creation ]

As is well recorded in the fortune cookie database on BSD UNIX, we have:

Ginsberg's theorems:

1. You can't win
2. You can't break even
3. You can't quit the game

Freeman's commentary on Ginsberg's theorems:

Every major philosophy attempts to make life meaningful by contradicting
one of Ginsberg's theorems. To wit:

1. Capitalism: You CAN win.
2. Communism: You CAN break even.
3. Hari Krishna: You CAN quit the game.

Goodenough's addendum to Freeman's commentary:

Capitalism's and Hari Krishna's days are numbered, because as has recently
been decided in the Soviet Union Freeman's commentary on Ginsberg's second
theorem is in fact FALSE!

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