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(Note to Ed. This is taken from my ~/.plan; if you think Salman Rushdie has problems, you should see the reaction it evokes from feminists ...)

Hardware Requirements:

1. Pleasant screen and chassis.
2. Moderate size disk drives.
3. Must come with original manufacturer write-protect tab.
4. Must be easily interconnectable to accessories such as vacuum cleaners, ovens, brooms, washing machines, etc.

Software Requirements:

1. Compiler for IOHL (International Obedient Housewife Language) basic command subset (e.g. clean, wash, cook, "of course dear").
2. Single-user mode ONLY.
3. Very-user-friendly interface.
4. Word "no" must not appear in /usr/dict/words.

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