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1/2-sided, sloppy-sectored, 5 3/8 inch droopy disk. 39 cents.

As you might expect from this program's name and price, it's a bare-bones, no-frills word processor package. What does 'bare bones' mean? For one thing, you don't get multiple screens - in fact, you get no screens at all. Joe, the program's writer, claims that in about six months an update (19 cents) will be available that'll give the program video-display capabilities. In the meantime, you'll simply have to remember what you key in.

Another upgrade will enable you to type upper-case characters and numbers greater than seven. But don't let these seemingly negative comments dissuade you from buying the program. In reality, the 39 cent price makes it good value for the money. You can for, example, use the disk as a coaster for large beer mugs.

What are the program's good points? It contains a 3-word spelling correction program called (predictably) MediocreSpeller. If you misspell the words A, AND, or THE, it causes your computer to shut off and locks the disk drive head on track 42.

MediocreWriter's documentation is in keeping with the program's other annoying features. It consists of a barely legible mimeographed sheet with the following instructions on it:

	 * Turn computer on 
	 * Insert disk 
	 * Use program 

The program is not copy protected.

Explains Joe: 'Who would want to copy it?' And it takes little memory space: 323 bytes. It's available for the Lemming/dos operating system for use on Joe's PC (available from Joe for $9.95).

ASST. SYSOP'S COMMENTS:

In short, MediocreWriter is Joe's latest attempt to write software that works. It doesn't pretend to be anything other than what it is: the sleeziest, most limited, bug-ridden word-processing program that exists.

Joe admits, 'it stinks.' In addition to its lack of a video-display capability, it has a tendency to set computers on fire and trigger nearby automatic washing machines. It handles 21 lower-case alphabetic characters and numbers from one to six; punctuation is limited to the exclamation point.

The program is interactive with Joe's other two packages: Lousycalc, a 1-column, 1-row spreadsheet; and RottenFiler, a database-management program that accepts one entry. In short, I like it!

DETAILS: List price, 39 cents. Available only for Lemming/DOS on Joe's PC ($9.95); configured to drive Joe's Smudge-Matrix Printer. ($14.95).

JOE'S GARAGE INC.
500 Bituminous Ave.
Sleazonia, Ont. 3N7 N5S
Phone 911

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