| Browse the Best of RHF: "Oldies but Goodies"| 
Fault : Mouth not open when drinking or glass being applied to wrong part of face.
Solution : Buy another pint and practice in front of a mirror. Continue with as many pints as necessary until drinking technique is perfect.
Fault : Glass is empty.
Solution : Find someone who will buy you another pint.
Fault : Glass being held at incorrect angle.
Solution : Turn glass so that open end is pointing at ceiling.
Fault : Loss of self-control.
Solution : Go and stand beside nearest dog - After a while complain to its owner about its lack of house training.
Fault : You are looking through the bottom of your empty glass.
Solution : Find someone who will buy you another pint.
Fault : Air turbulence unusually high - maybe due to darts match in progress.
Solution : Insert broom handle down back of jacket.
Fault : You are being carried out.
Solution : Find out if you are being taken to another bar - if not complain loudly that you are being hi-jacked.
Fault : You have fallen over backwards.
Solution : If glass is still full, and no one is standing on your drinking arm, stay put. If not, get someone to lift you up and lash you to the bar.
Fault : You have fallen over forwards.
Solution : Same as for falling over backwards.
Fault : You have spent the night in the gutter.
Solution : Check your watch to see if it is opening time - if not treat yourself to a lie in.
Fault : The pub is closing.
Solution : PANIC !!!!!
| Browse the Best of RHF: "Oldies but Goodies"| 