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Heard on a local radio station (Rock 101.1 in Vancouver) this morning:

Woman and her lover are in bed together when hubbie comes home. The woman
jumps up, shoves the guy in a corner of the bedroom, rubs him down in baby
oil and covers him in talcum powder.

'Don't move! You're a statue!'

The husband comes up to the bedroom and inquires about the new decoration.
The wife explains that the Smith family next door acquired a statue for
their bedroom recently, and if they could get one, so could she.

The married couple go to bed, but at midnight the husband goes downstairs,
gets  a glass of milk and some cookies, and comes back upstairs. He hands
the snack to the 'statue' and says, 'Here. I stood around for 3 days at the
Smiths', and they never fed me a thing!'

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