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An old lady walks into a plastic surgeon's office and tells him she wants a
facelift.  He says "Well, we have three models.  The first is for $1000 and
is guarenteed for one year, the second is $3000 and is guarenteed for 3
years, and the last is $5000 and it is guarenteed for 5 years."  The old lady
says "Well tell me about them."  The doctor says, "For $1000 you are going to
get a half-ass job that you pay very little for."  She responds, "Forget that
one, what about the next one."  He explains, "For $3000 we do a much better
job and pay close attention to detail, but it is only guarenteed for 3
years."  The lady says, "No, that's no good either, what about the last one."
 The doctor replies, "For $5000 you are going to get the best facelift with a
feature that is on the cutting edge of plastic surgery.  There will be a
screw attached to the back of your head and if you notice your face sagging,
just come back in and we will tighten the screw."  The lady is delighted and
has the surgery.  About 6 months later she comes back to the office very
upset.  "Doctor, I want my money back because I look horrible.  Look at these
bags under my eyes!"  The doctor leans back in his chair and says, "Lady you
aren't getting anything back.  Those bags under your eyes are your tits and
if you keep messing with that screw, you're going to have a moustache."

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