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BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO... especially when you share the same major!

       written by ADAM LASNIK, alasnik@indiana.edu

webpage:  http://adam.eigenmann.indiana.edu/  <--lots of humor and more :)
     or:  http://pobox.com/~music

PSYCHOLOGY:   Girl accuses guy of just using her as a substitute for his
              Mother.
SOCIOLOGY:    Each claims to have been oppressed in the relationship.
RELIGION:     Each prays for reconcilliation and/or curses God
ARCHAEOLOGY:  One tries to bury the past, and accuses the other of trying
              to dig it up.
THEATRE:      "OH MY GOD!  Life is... ENDED... as we KNOW it!"
BIOLOGY:      "You just wanted to get in my genes!"
PHYSICS:      Both resign themselves to the fact that what goes up must 
              come down.
JOURNALISM:   "Today was the end of an era.  Jack, 19, and Jill, 18, called
              an end to their relationship of 2 weeks..."
WOMEN'S STUDIES:  "HE did it!"
BUSINESS:     Both decide that they're spending way too much money 
              together, and that it's simply cheaper to be single.
ITALIAN:      "Mama Mia!"
HISTORY:      Each party argues the breakup was caused by something the
              other party did in the past.
GEOGRAPHY:    Both people decide to simply move far away to avoid each 
              other.
ANATOMY:      "I never liked your body anyway." 
ECONOMICS:    One party demands more than the other can supply. 
ENGLISH:      Each writes the other a perfect breakup letter, complete with
              introduction, thesis, body, and conclusion, that doesn't 
              really say anything substantively intelligible.
EDUCATION:    Both concede that the relationship was a learning experience.
COMPUTING:    "Man, this bytes -- we just couldn't interface"  and/or
              "His hard drive was more like a floppy."
E. ENGINEER.: "It's just so shocking... I'm sure there are positives and 
               negatives, but..." [okay, yes, I know you're groaning ;-)]
ARCHITECTURE: "There just wasn't much to build on anyway..."
JEWISH STUDIES: "OY!  You should feel so guilty!"
PHILOSOPHY:   If 2 people break up in a dorm and there's no one to witness
              the breakup, are they really single?
ZOOLOGY:      They were able to mate like banshees, but lacked   
              sophisticated communication skills.
PHYS. ED.:    They punch each other out in frustration.
CHEMISTRY:    They turn to hard drugs to relieve the pain.
COUNSELING:   Each urges the other to "get help!"
MUSIC:        Each utilizes an operatic lament (or, in Tennessee, a country
              song) to express his or her sorrow.
LAW:          They sue each other for breach of a pre-dating agreement.

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