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Told to me by my wife:

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when the
Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree.  "Little Red Riding
Hood," he said, "I'm going to throw you on the ground, tear off
all your clothes, and rape you!"

Little Red Riding Hood considered this, then removed a pistol
from her picnic basket and pointed it at the wolf levelly.  "Oh
no, you're not," she said.  "You're going to eat me, just like
the story says."

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