| RHF Joke Archives |

[Note - the following are the best of the Hugh Grant jokes submitted to
	date - ed.]

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: tina@tezcat.com (Discord)
Subject: Hugh Grant is...

I was on the phone with a friend of mine tonight, and he asked if I'd
heard about the arrest of Hugh Grant.  While briefly discussing it, he
characterized Hugh Grant as

"The Englishman who went up a hill, but went down on a ho."

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: drhodes@hercules.com (drhodes)
Organization: Hercules Computer Technology
Subject: Hugh Grant's New Film (original)


        I actually thought of this one myself:

        In light of Hugh Grant's recent involvement with the authorities,
the title of his upcoming film will be changed from "Nine Months" to...

        "Nine Months with Time Off for Good Behavior."

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: naparish@uclink2.berkeley.edu (Neal A. Parish)
Subject: Hugh Grant & Christopher Reeve


Q:  How is Hugh Grant different from Christopher Reeve's horse?

A:  Hugh has no problem jumping anything.

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: funny-request@clari.net (Funny Guy)
Subject: Hugh Grant one-liners
Keywords: smirk, sexual
Approved: funny-request@clari.net


[Note - more submissions for the Hugh Grant one-liner file - ed.]

-----
>From: ronnen@eden.lbl.gov (Ronnen Levinson)
>Subject: Hometown News

In the wake of Hugh Grant's automotive adventure:

Sunday's San Francisco Examiner ran a front-page article, complete with a
color photo of Stella Marie Thompson, a.k.a. Divine Brown, entitled

	Grant's hooker
	is from Bay Area
	
	Star's 'car date'
	reportedly got big
	bucks for interview

I wonder if the editors thought they were running a "local girl makes 
good" story?

-----

>From: kalothi1@violet.berkeley.edu (Geoffrey Kidd)
>Subject: New Hugh Grant movie

Hugh Grant has announced that his costar in his next
movie will be Pee Wee Herman.

-----

>From: hm@star.rl.ac.uk (Colonel Custard)
>Subject: Hugh Grant joke

Q. What's Hugh Grant's favourite drink?

A. Horlicks.

-----

>From: dbk@aber.ac.uk (dbk)
>Subject: hugh grant joke

Reporting this story, the UK Guardian newspaper finished, ostensibly 
unintentionally, with the comment "Mr Grant is unavailable for comment. He
is just hoping that it will all blow over."

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: funny-request@clari.net (Funny Guy)
Subject: More Hugh Grant one-liners
Keywords: topical, smirk, swearing, sexual
Approved: funny-request@clari.net


[Note - below find more jokes from the ever-increasing Hugh Grant file - ed.]

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: babb@k2.sanders.lockheed.com (Scott Babb)
Subject: Hugh Grant Baseball?

Heard on Rock 101 (WGIR FM, Manchester, NH) during a newscast this morning:

"...the Red Sox relief pitchers have blown more leads than Divine Brown..."

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: NJPSYCH@aol.com
Subject: Hugh Grant's New Car

This joke was told to me by a friend at work.

Why did Hugh Grant buy a BMW?

More head room.

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: busser@orca.ib.stortek.com (Rick Busser)
Organization: StorageTek
Subject: Hugh for President

I think if Hugh Grant ever decides to run for President he
could use the old "She sucked but didn't swallow" excuse that
worked so well for Clinton.

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: mwoods@dgs.dgsys.com (Mike)
Subject: Hugh Grant

I forget where I heard it, but I understand Mr. Grant's next movie will 
be called "Four Twenties and a Hooker."

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: jen@ll.mit.edu (Jennifer Nolan)
Subject: Hugh Grant jokes (yet another)

In case you're still compiling one-liners...

A local radio station was having listeners call or fax in what
they thought would be good headlines for the Hugh Grant fiasco.

The winner was a fax entry:

	Hugh's Divine Ho Hum

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: JanR200171@aol.com
Subject: HUGH GRANT ALIBI 

HEARD ON WDNG RADIO ANNISTON,ALBAMA:

HUGH GRANT'S EXCUSE TO HIS GIRLFRIEND: MY CAR BROKE DOWN AND I WAS GETTING A
$60 "TOW" JOB. 

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: dhaller@umich.edu (William Justin Williams)
Subject: Hugh Grant & Hockey

From Ron McLean on 7/6's Hockey Awards:
"And Detroit...gotta love those octopi.  Eight limbs flailing everywhere,
and loads of bad ink...sounds like Hugh Grant's car.
 
Hugh Grant was sentenced the other day...he got 2 minutes in the box for
hooking."

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: wjr0@delphi.com (Bill Rourke)
Organization: Delphi (info@delphi.com email, 800-695-4005 voice)
Subject: Re: Hugh Grant one-liners

Heard on the radio: "Hugh Grant sucked into controversy".

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: geraghty@clark.net (P.J. Geraghty)
Subject: hugh grant

This morning on radio staion WBIG (100.3 FM) in Washington DC, the song
"you can't hurry love" finished and the DJ led in saying "Well, you can't
hurry love...unless you're Hugh Grant and the light's about to change..."

        =       =       =       =       =       =       =

From: cjones@au.oracle.com (Christopher Jones)
Subject: Car designs for movie stars


From the radio:

Q. What BMW design feature does Hugh Grant like most?

A. All that head room.

| RHF Joke Archives |

Get The Internet Jokebook Featuring the very best of netfunny.com on dead trees.