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                           Attention
                           Students

    It has come to our attention that several of you have felt it 
necessary to engage in pagan rituals during passing periods. While we
can't allow goats in and out of the building due to fire hazards (And the
FFA is getting suspicious of the whereabouts of the cattle) we will allow
incense and hooded robes with a permit only. Human sacrifice must be
kept, preferably, to a minimum, seeing as we are beginning to run low on
faculty members. Also the janitors are beginning to complain about the
giant pentagrams.  The Principle is beginning to grow irritated with the
recurring jack-o-lanterns he finds on his desk every morning with a knife
plunged in its side and a note reading "YOU." If this sort of behavior
persists, we shall be forced to notify Master Satan.  As you all are
aware by now, Mr. Satan has been kind enough to give us a wonderful deal
on the sale of our souls.

  In light of these recent events, we have found it necessary to set up
  new guidelines for future sences and/or demon conjuring. 

1.) The shedding of blood must be within the yellow parking lines only.
(CAUTION: Please wear plastic gloves when dealing with blood, due to the fact
that AIDS is a equal rights disease, and no one is immune... Not even Satan.)

2.) Remember: The Pit of Despair is not used as a trash receptacle, please
keep all Coke cans out of hell because they are having a problem with
recycling their crap already.

3.)  The fetal pigs in the Biology labs are ONLY THERE FOR DISSECTION.
But feel free to pillage the AG farm at any opportunity.

We do realize that Satanic sacrifice is a dirty job, we are just asking you
to clean it up.. We thank you for your understanding and hope that you will
adhere to these requests.

				Sincerely,
				THE MGNT.	 

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