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Origin unknown -- just heard it from a friend.

A fellow walks into a pet store and asks to buy a canary.  The
proprietor replies, "I'm fresh out, but I DO have a parakeet." The
customer insists on a canary, until the shop owner informs him that a
parakeet can be made to sound like a canary if one files the beak just
so.  "But be careful not to file too much off, or the parakeet will
drown when he goes to take a drink of water." The potential customer
decides that this is complete bullshit, but thanks the shop owner
politely and leaves, sans parakeet.  He goes into another pet shop and
asks for a canary -- no luck.  "But", says the shop owner, "I do have a
parakeet, and if you file the beak just so, it can be made to sound just
like a canary." He goes on to explain that filing off too much beak will
jeopardize the bird's life, due to the potential for drowning when he
takes a drink.  The fellow finally decides that there is some merit to
these claims and buys the parakeet.  "Besides", he thinks to himself,
"parakeets are much cheaper." His next stop is a hardware store, where
he wanders into the file section, holding his recently purchased bird. 
The owner wanders by and asks of he needs some help.  The new bird owner
sheepishly explains how he intends to make his parakeet sing like a
canary.  The hardware store owner knowingly picks up a file and hands it
to him.  "Here, a Nichols #2 bastard file.  But be careful not to file
too much off, or the poor beastie might drown." The bird and file owner
thanks the hardware store owner and leaves for home. 

A few weeks later, the bird owner wanders into the hardware store.  The
owner, recognizing him, asks how he made out with the parakeet.  The
fellow looks down and sadly reports "Bird's dead".  The hardware store
owner shares his sorrow and asks "Filed off too much beak?"  To which
the former bird owner replies "Nah, he was dead when I took him out of
the vise."

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