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Heard at a rock concert at La Trobe University, Melbourne Australia.

I had a major argument with my girlfriend, Helen. I was in the wrong, but not enough to back down without an argument.

So after storming away, and cooling off, I had a think. I was clearly in the wrong and felt pretty guilty, with all the trauma it had caused.

So to make it up to Helen, I said I'd buy her a gift.

"Any thing at all, my love," I said, overcome with remorse.

"Oh, I don't know," replied Helen,"You really shouldn't do this you know. But, if you are, just get me something really expensive, that I don't need."

The following day I booked her in for chemotherapy.

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