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This is a true story, not a UL. Honest.

Years back, when my son was about 18 months old, I, my wife, and the kid would go out for a hot fudge sundae every week, and split it three ways. On one occasion, after I placed the order, the nubile young lady in the local Baskin Robbins asked (with a bright smile that could have been coquettish or merely polite) "Would you like your nuts wet or dry, Sir?"

I immediately choked. This was, after all, exactly the kind of line every male dreams of. Then I glanced at my wife, who was glaring back at me with a crimson complexion. Swallowing hard, I got a grip on my libido.

"Uh... No nuts," I replied. "No nuts at all."

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