Best of RHF: 'True' Stories
Best of RHF: 'True' Stories
This page contains direct links to the best jokes from the early years
of rec.humor.funny. Enjoy them, but
don't read them all at once.
Visit the Home Page for more jokes, or
topic index page for other subjects.
Be warned that this is not a joke collection for children. If you
are under 18, check with your parents before browsing these jokes.
True NewsTrue News
Recently, I've been getting a lot of submissions that weren't exactly
jokes, but rather were anecdotes or descriptions of funny things that
people had experienced or seen. These stories are all true or supposedly
true -- this is known as ``found humour.'' Sometimes found humour is the
best humour, sometimes you ``had to be there.'' I hope that all these
rate a smile from you.
Also included here are some things that were intended to be funny or clever,
but were simply reported by readers who witnessed them. Snappy comebacks,
bumper stickers, T-shirts, etc. all belong here.
Once again, we must also make the warning that since the jokebooks were added
on as a bonus to the SF in this anthology, careful proofreading was not
possible and formatting errors will be present.
Reclassify (Gideon B. Sheps) true, unrated
A message from the Duke of Wellington, 1812 (psc@lznv.UUCP) true, smirk
Cromwell and Rasputin (kenny@uiucdcsb.cs.uiuc.edu) true, smirk
Slugs (Michael O'Hair) smirk, true
Fish Story (grant@looking.UUCP) true, smirk
Anecdotes (Phillip Garding) true, chuckle
Yes, people are that dumb... (Mike Godfrey) true, smirk
No room at the Inn? (Andrew Malton) true, chuckle
Thank Heavens for Schools (Steve Neighorn) rec_humor_cull, true, chuckle
Something fun...? ("Henry_Cate_III.PA"@XEROX.COM) rec_humor_cull, chuckle, true?
Russel's Papadox (Donald Chinn) rec_humor_cull, true, chuckle
Tales of Fast Food (Clif Flynt) rec_humor_cull, true, chuckle
Strange things were happening in his yard (Stan Reeves) true, chuckle
How's your flow? (Joseph Nathan Hall) smirk, true, racist
Dicky is still tricky (Allan Pratt) true, chuckle
1988 election observations (The Happy Hacker) funny, true
Quotes from students (Brent Nordquist) rec_humor_cull, chuckle, true
A Math Teacher's Story (John George) true, chuckle
Gurkhas - the Martial Race (Rahul Dhesi) true, chuckle
Misplaced modifier (Wm E. Davidsen) true, chuckle, sexual
Shotgun Weddings (Grant Robinson) true, chuckle
FAA saves the day (Tom Proett) true, smirk
Stupid Game Show Contestants (three embarassing portraits of a fish) rec_humor_cull, true, chuckle
Confused persons (Chunky Molestrangler @ The Idiosts' Shcool of Typnig) rec_humor_cull, true, chuckle
Safety in numbers (Jim Gardner) chuckle, true
Driver Gets a Stiff Fine (James Harvey) rec_humor_cull, funny, true
Something to think about ("Henry_Cate_III.PA"@XEROX.COM) rec_humor_cull, true, smirk
Quality Control (Mark Brader) true, smirk
Practical Joke Down South (Dave Jones) rec_humor_cull, true, funny
Poor Ben (Jeffrey S. Salowe) true, smirk
Amusing true law case (Fred Genoese-Zerbi) true, smirk
Odds and Ends (Maurice E. Suhre) true, chuckle
The Coolidge Effect (Matthew Bradburn) true, chuckle
Dope in the Supreme Court (Roy Smith) true, chuckle
Politics, dirty tricks (Larry Hardiman) swearing, true, chuckle
Creativity in bait'n'switch? (David Sherman) true, funny
When would you use Ollie North to sell? (Jim Valerio) true, funny
Signs of our times (Paul A Vixie) funny, true
Amateur robber (John Palmer) truenews, smirk
No Professional Courtesy (David Sherman) smirk
Just Say No (Bob Jordan) true, smirk
Don't talk that way to a mother.... (brad@cs.utexas.edu) true, funny, sexual
Drunk man and the cat (David Pascoe) true, mildly sexual, smirk
You can't trust a lawyer? (Richard Sexton) true, chuckle
New era of enlightenment at the Klan (Frederick Wamsley) true, chuckle
Garment care instructions (Robert Garvey) true, chuckle
Mind your Manners (Devin.E.Ben-Hur@cup.portal.com) true, chuckle
Funny linguistics (Edwin) true, chuckle
Schoolroom Humour (David Purdue) true?, sexual, smirk
Revisionist historian (Link Madison, E118 student) true, chuckle
Sheriff's Log (offensive to Hoosiers) (Rodney Mood) true, funny
Laboratory Experiment (Mark Noworolski) sexual, true, funny
The True News Digest, Issue #1 (Brad Templeton) smirk to funny, true, long
Moms... (JimThe Big Dweeb Griffith) true, chuckle
Witzelsucht (Julian Vrieslander) chuckle, true
A Jury of his Peers (mark@sickkids.toronto.edu) chuckle, true
Sign on a hospital bulletin board (ark@research.UUCP) true, smirk
Excerpt from book about Canada and the USA (D. Daniel Sternbergh) chuckle, true
Fun with latex (Mark Champine) sexual, true?, chuckle
Those Helpful Troopers (dwv@ihuxz.UUCP) true, smirk
Use a cane; go to prison (Mason Woo) true, chuckle
Intelligence at GA Tech (Dave Smith) true, funny
My kid sister could paint like that.... (Gregory Sandell) true, chuckle
Winning numbers (Steve Wolfe) true, funny
California Raisins (john eaton) true, chuckle
Sex Aid financial appeal (David Wright) true, chuckle, sexual
Amusing Story (Paul D'Eath) chuckle, true, possible urban legend
Drowning in red tape... (Steve Norton) true, chuckle
What will they think of next (Howard Stateman) true, smirk
Watch where you're going (Grant Robinson) true, chuckle
What's the point? (REMCKE01%ULKYVX.bitnet@ugw.utcs.utoronto.ca) chuckle, true
Cremation (Joe Dellinger) true, sick, smirk
Speeding Tickets (Norm Gee) true, smirk, sexual
On "reserve" with an airline (Katherine Albitz) true, chuckle, mildly sexual
Mensa Geniuses Discover New Day (Jim Tubman) chuckle, true
The Marshmallow of the 23rd Century (Steve Robert) true, smirk
Pacifists don't always eschew violence (Russ Nelson) chuckle, true
More news clippings (Jerry Cornelius) true, chuckle
Mort Sahl on Haig (John Shipman) true, funny
Size not important (Jon Boede) true, chuckle
Interesting Solicitation (Brian McClendon) true, chuckle
Large rodents (Steve Lamont) true, smirk
Holiday pics (Carol Gibson) true, smirk
Kids - The Natural Comedians (Adnan Yaqub) true, smirk, scatological
A funny thing happened... (Jeff Sloan) true, chuckle
in case you thought you could predict Bork's position on anything (Glenn Hyatt) true, chuckle, sexual
Statisticians (Jonathan R. Partington) true, chuckle
San Francisco Earthquake (gruesome...) (Robert Bowdidge) true?, smirk
A Clint Eastwood picture (Paul Partholomew) true, funny
An Audiophile, she's not (Bryan Hoog) true, chuckle
Re: People can be so gullible (Christopher Neufeld) smirk
Dropping Intelligence Levels (Joe Dellinger) true, chuckle
Pia Zadora (James Nicoll) true, funny
When in doubt, think. (Darren F. Provine) true, chuckle
BUY AMERICAN! (David Beams) smirk, true
Pit bulls (Joel Fine) true, funny
Is This Job For You? (Paul Fuqua) true, chuckle
A flare for the unusual (snider@inf.ethz.ch) true, funny
Re: Kids - The Natural Comedians (Wayne Hathaway) true, funny
Hubert Humphrey goes politicking (Hal Lillywhite) true, chuckle
Novice trooper - true story (Miles ONeal) true, chuckle
The power to cloud mens' minds (harris@sauron.UUCP) sexual, true, smirk
Prescription Drugs (Chuck Musciano) true, chuckle
Aviation snicker (Darren S. Bush) chuckle, true
The real difference between boys and girls (Taed Nelson) true, funny, mildly sexual
Practical joke (Lindsey Durway) true, funny
Nay, Fair Maid (Dan Barrett) chuckle, true
What are you gonna do now? (Ross Bradley) true, chuckle
A Beeper Story (Cheryl Marks) true, chuckle
Bambi's got a gun (tarsa@abyss.pa.dec.com) true, chuckle
Prescription confusion (Patrick R. Gold) true, chuckle
Finding a cop (barring@fiji.cs.umass.edu) true, chuckle
Wedding gifts, allegedly true (Richard S. Holmes) true, funny
A place to hunt (Mike Harris) heard it, funny
A Slight Problem with a Rescue (Hal Lillywhite) true, chuckle
An Object's Private Parts (Christopher) true, chuckle, sexual
Buss Service (Michael J. Irvin, WSU) chuckle, true
Soviet Humor: Hungarian shortages (Tom Comeau) true, chuckle
A Pointed Warning (Darren Leigh) true, chuckle
Cabbage patch kid? (Eoin O'Coindealbhain) sexual, chuckle
Natural childbirth (Sue McPherson) chuckle
Customer Oriented Marketing (Dave Gross) true, chuckle
Noted from Herb Caen (Dave Turner) funny, true
Outhouses (John Rickert) true, chuckle, scatological
Burger King's ad slogan (Max Pandaemonium) original, true, chuckle
A Cat, a Tree, and a New Word Definition (Larry Lippman) funny, true
More cats in trees (VSAARIOKARI@finabo.abo.fi) true, smirk
PC to the rescue (Brian Hoffman) true, chuckle
Student Evaluation of Teaching (Jeff Martens) original, true, chuckle
Global warming (elnitsky@math.lsa.umich.edu) true, chuckle
Practical Jokes (JOKE BOY) chuckle, original
Diplomacy with the police (John C Green Jr) chuckle, true
P. T. Barnum (Ernst W Mayer) true, chuckle
Self-conscious caffeine (Chuck Reiman) chuckle, true
Hi! Do you know me? I'm the King of Sweden. (Brendan Kehoe) chuckle
Why I love public radio (Penny Padgett) true, chuckle
Car-sicles (Alvin) original, true, chuckle
Dumb Ads & Newspaper Headlines (K.BISHOP@genie.com) true, funny
Spelling bee (Joseph Lazio) true, chuckle
A child's questions (Michael Sinz) true, chuckle, sexual
Reality! What a concept! (T. William Wells) chuckle, true
A cop with a sense of humour (Mark J. Reed) true, funny
Cash vs. credit (Harold E Austin Jr.) chuckle, true
Radio Giveaway (Michael J Graven) true, chuckle
Diplomacy with the police II (Dan N Wiebe) true, funny
Don't need it now, but maybe someday! (Jeffrey Eric Francis Friedl) chuckle, true
A comedian at city hall... (Matt Thompson) true, chuckle
Racial stereotype avoidance (PJ Geraghty) chuckle, true
Mindless receptionist (salzman@athena.mit.edu) chuckle, true
Shopping for funeral services (true story) (Bob Morris) chuckle, true
Anecdotes on old institutions (Mark Brader) true, smirk
More anecdotes on old institutions. (Gillett, David) true, chuckle
Mess Found In A Septic Tank (Steve Simmons) funny, true, sexual
How much is a pizza worth to Bill Gates? (H. Alan Montgomery) true?, smirk
The Old Man in the Phone Line (Shawn V. Hernan) true, smirk
Overhead at the King Bush protest... (Tom Limoncelli) true, smirk
This really happened in church... (Blackmore/Dean Wagner) true, chuckle
Drinking and Driving (David Jenkins) chuckle, true
Good Investigator (cak@inel.gov) true, chuckle
More questions kids ask (Topher Eliot) chuckle, true
Radio Shack Q&A (Jonathan) original, laugh, true
A smooth talker (Peter Hickey) original, true, chuckle
Man vs. Nature (WATERS,SHELDON) true, chuckle
Golf Quote (Campbell March) chuckle, true
Phone Company Writes to a Public Telephone (Warren Burstein) chuckle, true
A rather exclusive warranty (Gabe M Wiener) chuckle, true
I Love Lemon... Not (Michael Gordon Shapiro) chuckle, true, original
Kentucky Fried Commercial (Marc Sabatella) chuckle, true
A Head for Numbers (Samuel E. Buttrey) chuckle, military, true
World standards (rlang@firebird.newcastle.edu.au) chuckle, true
Ice Cream Parlor Emasculation (Lawrence Curcio) chuckle, sexual, true
I have no mouth and I must scream (Mark Chartrand) chuckle, true
Mispellers [sic] of the world, unite! (Walter Daugherity) topical, true, chuckle
Computer Nightmares (Jeff Liebermann) chuckle, original, computers, true
TV: Truth in advertising (Gail Elber) chuckle, tv, true
Truth in Advertising for Psychobabble Testimony (dbakken@bbn.com) chuckle, true
Store sign (Max Stevens) chuckle, true
Deer hunting the hard way (David Hinerman) chuckle, true
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