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With the bounty on the arsonist's head raised to a whopping
quarter of a million dollars, someone has stepped forward who
was a witness to how the fires were set:

"I was chasing him down the highway, as I always do, when all of
the sudden, he takes off, leaving a line of fire behind him...Well,
I did try to catch up, but the flames soon consumed my fur, and I had
to stop."

A mister Wiley E. Coyote speaks these words with tears in his eyes,
as he views his 3 million dollar home go down in flames.

"I was just trying to have some fun with him, why did he have
to start all these fires..."

Strangly enough, Mr. Coyote's fur looks as if it has not been singed
by fire or soot, even though he went to the hospital 2 days ago for
3rd degree burns.

Authorities are currently laying out bird seed traps at every intersection
in hopes of catching the Road Runner, but as of yet, the Road Runner has
gotten out of 200 of these traps.

For the sake of humanity, lets hope they do....

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