| RHF Joke Archives | 
PROBLEM:
People who go into a certain house get electrocuted.
RESPONSES:
Protestant:
Urge people to resist temptation.
Catholic:
Fundraising memorial bingo night.
TV Evangelist:
Fundraising memorial faith-healing spa and electric theme park.
Rock Star:
Fundraising memorial mega-concert, profits to survivors ( $746 ).
Local TV:
Send Sky Cam, report incident as a toxic waste spill.
MacNeil / Lehrer:
22-minute debate featuring a consumer advocate, a physicist, conservative
senator, a black playwright and an ethicist.
Tabloid:
"Elvis Zaps Fans With Guitar!"
Zoning Board:
Table the issue--too busy approving new malls.
School Board:
Change curriculum to include alternative theories of electricity.
Electrician:
Have people always keep one hand in pocket.
Engineer:
Wire people 180 degrees out of phase with house current.
Architect:
Redesign interior of house to increase excitement in less risky spaces.
H.M.O.:
Authorize visit with nurse, but charge for doctor.
Insurance Company:
Retroactive policy exclusion for injuries exceeding 100,000 mi./sec.
Lawyer:
Sue maker of auto that was parked in garage at time of accident.
Jury:
Split liability between auto maker and tire company.
Ross Perot:
1-800-
Entrepreneur:
1-900-
Immigration Service:
Deport homeowner's babysitter.
I.R.S.:
Confiscate victims' savings accounts.
B.A.T.&F.:
Surround the neighborhood.
F.B.I.:
Protect the media by relocating them just outside Anchorage.
President:
Another reason for the energy tax.
Congress:
Another reason for Special Prosecutor.
Pentagon:
Another reason for more defense spending.
CIA:
Another reason to bomb Libya.
Supreme Court:
Permit states to regulate use of electrons in 3rd trimester abortions.
Conservatives:
Mandatory jail time for theft of power; reduce AIDS funding.
Liberals:
Redefine positive and negative as "assertive" and "receptive;" build
swimming pools in 3 swing-vote states.
David Daye
4/27/93
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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