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The Old Man and the Whale

removed@pitt.edu (Andrew ?)
(chuckle, sexual, racist)

George Burns is a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

Oprah:  George, you're around 90 years old, and you still have women
        hanging all over you.  What's your secret?

Burns:  Well, Oprah, I'm simply the greatest lover in the world, and once
        a woman finds that out, she refuses to let me go.

Oprah:  Seriously, George... do you spoil them with lavish presents for
        being your sex toys?  I mean, I can't imagine a man of your age
        being the world's greatest lover!

Burns:  I am serious, Oprah... in fact, if you don't believe me, stop by
        my dressing room after the show and I'll show you first hand.

Oprah:  Ok, you're on.

After the show, Oprah stops by George's dressing room and they start
to go at it.  Oprah is having the time of her life, and George is really
living up to his claim.  After about two hours, George stops pumping...

Burns:  Listen, Oprah, I've gotta take a nap for a while, but if you keep
        both of your hands wrapped around my dick, I'll wake up soon and
        we can go at it again.

So she does, and after about a half hour George wakes up and they start
going at it again.  A while later, after Oprah's fourth orgasm, George takes
another breather and again says:

Burns:  Oprah, Oprah, you're holding up great, and I want to keep giving it
        to you, but I've gotta take another nap.  Hold my dick with both
        your hands, and when I wake up, we can go at it again.

Oprah:  Oh, George, you really are the greatest lover in the world, and I
        can understand why a man your age would need to take a break now
        and then, but I don't understand why I need to keep both hands on
        your dick while you're sleeping.

Burns:  That's easy, babe... the last time I had sex with a talk show
        host in my dressing room, she stole my wallet while I was asleep.


(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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