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Remember "heads and beds" when the XO comes down to berthing and looks around with flashlight and little mirror?

Ours was a real SOB, always finding that one little ghost turd way up under one of the racks, or some green stuff that has been growing on the plumbing for years, but he just noticed it this morning. So I had one guy spend all morning cleaning one toilet . . . I want this thing clean enough to eat off of.

Then I got about a pound of peanut butter from the galley and spread it up under the lip of the bowl.

The XO comes down with his mirror, finds his ghost turd in berthing and continues on into the head. He gets about half way through the inspection, and sees all this brown shit in his little mirror. He exploded.

I reached in, got a finger full. "HMMM, sir, looks like one of the guys is sick."

Then I smelled it. "Yessir, Petty Officer Jones has diarrhea, sir."

The old man lost his cookies. He never did bring his little mirror back into our berthing compartment, either.

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