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I heard that Microsoft is going to come out with a version of Windows for the 
MacIntosh.  I can imagine what the advertisements will be:

Are you tired of the user-friendliness of your MacIntosh?  Then get Microsoft 
Windows for MacIntosh, featuring limited on-line help and poor documentation!  
Why settle for intuitive keyboard commands when you can have confusing F-key 
combinations?  But don't take our word for it--here are some satisfied 
customers:

"I couldn't stand all the easy drag-and-click commands on my MacIntosh.  Now I 
can do everything with wordy commands that only work on one file or directory 
at a time!"
  -- Ralph Blernson, IBM user for 15 years

"I hated the 'automatic startup' files.  Now, I can go back to my AUTOEXEC.BAT 
file and pray I've got everything set up right!  Plus, MS-Windows even disabled 
the Find File command, so I can search all my directories by hand to find those 
utilities I lost!"
  -- Joey Boring, still using a VT-52

"What's with these 30-odd letter file names?  I like MS-Windows much better; it 
only lets me use eight characters!  Thanks for clearing up the confusion!"
  -- Mark Rodgers, who thinks HP calculators are easy to use

"By using the Memory Mismanagment(TM) utility, I can have my computer ignore 
the 32 MB of RAM it's got and only see 640K of it!  Just like the good old 
days!"
  -- Horace Kludge, using the "leading edge" of technology on his WANG

"Multi-tasking?  Who needs it?  When I run a program, I want it FINISHED before 
starting another one!  And MS-Windows lets me do that!"
  -- Donald Hapershnalzik, still programming in COBOL

"All those fonts on my MacIntosh keep confusing me.  But with MS-Windows 
there's only one!  My word processor is much easier to use now that I have 
no choice on the font!"
  -- Larry Linkworm, still confused by his VCR

"MS-Windows even disabled the control panels!  Once again, my speaker is set at 
full volume, and I have no choice on how the displays look!  That gives me lots 
more time to run the limited programs that work under Windows!"
  -- Marty Halfgear, who is fascinated by bright and shiny objects

And look at the other options available:

* Non-standard keyboard commands.  It's much more fun to learn new commands 
with each new program you get, right?

* Different system requirements for each program, requiring a reboot each time!

* The "3.3" option, which forces you to partition your hard drive into 10MB 
segments!

* Limited mouse support

Ms-Windows for MacIntosh.  For De-Evolutionary people.


mackinnon@osse.nrl.navy.mil

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