| RHF Joke Archives |

[Edited]

Some slogans I thought up during the Republican National Convention (some
of these may be suitable for bumper stickers):

"Bar B/Q"  (based on a sign at the Convention reading "Vote B/Q")

(T-Shirt for disk manufacturers, distributors, etc.) "Media Elite"

Top 10 list for favorite RNC speech topics:
(would someone please mail me the real Letterman list, if such exists?)
        10. Blame Congress.
        9. Blame Congress.
        8. Blame Congress.
        7. Take off gloves.
        6. Bash Liberals.
        5. Bash Bill Clinton.
        4. Bash Hillary Clinton.
        3. Bash Murphy Brown [media elite].
        2. Bash everybody else. <-- (or perhaps something about being better
                                        off than we were four years ago)
        1. Inhale.

"George Bush: Lipslick"

"`Slick', Mr. Reagan?  SLICK is what came out of the Exxon _Valdez_; SLICK
is what Saddam Hussein left behind in Kuwait; slick is not Bill Clinton."

"I knew [Howdy Doody | Stimpy | Murphy Brown]; [Howdy Doody | Stimpy | Murphy
Brown] was a friend of mine; Mr. Vice President, you're no [Howdy Doody |
Stimpy | Murphy Brown]!"

"Quayle Doesn't Inhale (which explains a lot)"

"Inside Mr. Bush is the heart of an 18-year-old fighter pilot... the stomach
of an 18-year-old Garth [a la Wayne's World], and the thyroid gland of a
118-year-old Vulcan."

Captions underneath a photo of President Bush tossing sushi in the lap of
Miyazawa this spring:
"A Bucket For Monsieur!", or
"The 100-cm hurl", or perhaps
"Never before have so few puked so much on so many." (nahh)

(an opportunity for Clinton) "If America is better off after four years of
George Bush and Dan Quayle, then my hair is naturally dried."


							William H. Hsu
							hsu@cs.jhu.edu

| RHF Joke Archives |