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Credit for this goes to Kyle Miller, a humorist for the paper here on campus,
but I laughed so much when I read it that I thought the netters might
appreciate it too.

Background:

For the past few weeks, the University has held a series of awareness weeks. 
These events, coupled with some campus controversy surrounding the events of
black history month and womens history month prompted the idea for another
awareness week.

Awareness Awareness Week
Did you know:
  47 percent of all Americans are unaware.
  One out of every six unaware Americans are not even aware that they are
unaware.
  Every five seconds, another Ameican becomes aware.
  There are currently fifty awareness anonymous centers in the country.

  Don't let this horrible affliction destroy our great country!  Get involved.

The following is a schedule of events for Awareness Awareness Week:

Monday: Keynote speaker.  Topic: "Beware! Be aware."
Tuesday: "Wake up and smell the coffee", a multimedia presentation.
Wednesday: "Complete cluelessness - There's still no cure", a seminar conducted
  by the department of psychology.
Thursday: "I once was clueless", the true story of a recovered unawareaholic
Friday: An all-day awareness demonstration.  Each person that you do not notice
today represents 30 unaware people nationwide.

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