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Headlines

khushro@zip.eecs.umich.edu
(smirk)

The following is the best of what was generated by the spew automatic
news headline generator (program copyright 1987 Greg Smith), "almost"
unedited by me.

---

Madonna Gives birth to Seventy-Two Daughters.
 -- Joan Rivers May Be Involved.

"Elvis Died From Eating Plums", Says Michael Jackson.
 -- National Enquirer Photo Exclusive.

"Frank Sinatra Is Really Space Alien From Mars" Claim Swiss Voice Pattern 
Recognition Researchers.

Chemists Discover Linda Ronstadt Was Married to King Henry VIII in Previous 
Life

Croatian AI Experts resurrect Groucho Marx.
 -- Ukranian AI Experts Offer Undeniable Proof.

Nancy Reagan Files Paternity Suit Against Joan Rivers -- Claiming Sex Change.

"Killer Tigers From Israel killed My Daughter" Claims Moammar Khadafy.

Cindi Lauper Maims Ninety-Seven TV Personalities in drunken rampage.

Real Life Ghost Busters Exorcise Poltergist from Prince Charles's home in 
San Rafael.

Madonna Tells Of Night Of Terror With Johnny Carson. 
"He Threatened Me With a Phased Plasma Rifle".

Killer Kittens injure Eva Gabor.
 -- Exclusive Pictures Inside.

"I Am The Reincarnation of Cleopatra", Claims Linda Ronstadt.

Eating Tomatoes Can Give You Chicken Pox, Claim Japanese Psychologists.

"Santa Claus kidnapped My Baby", Insists Game Show Host.

Atheist Monks report USS enterprise Sighting in Salt Lake City
 "They Came From The Direction Of Pluto!".
 -- National Enquirer Photo Exclusive.

British Artificial Intelligence Researcher's Bizarre Claim: 
"Russian Meta-physicists Planted Mind Control Device In My Head".

-KHUSHRO

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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