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Extended Sign-Off Mnemonics

tlode%nyx.uucp@nike.cair.du.edu (trygve lode)
(computer, smirk, funny)

These days it's quite common for messages on social-oriented bulletin boards to end with signoffs like "Hi and hugs to everybody." In fact, this has become so popular that as much as 7.5% of the disk space on some BBS's is currently devoted to this particular comment. The International Committee for Relatively Pointless Abbreviations and Badly Misspelled Acronyms (SPUDS) has just released a new, internationally approved list of abbreviated signoffs. These include:

ooo hugs xxx kisses OOO big hugs XXX big kisses oo hugs for everybody but you OO! big, excited hugs CCC hugs for people you can't quite reach around OOQ hugging with tongue xx@ kisses and earlobe nibbling zzz snoring yyy anything that occurs between kissing and snoring H handshake kkk alternate form of "handshakes for all" KKK white robes for all AAA talk-show not-really kissing [X] kissing in the closet XYZZY a kiss that moves you MMM same as WWW, but from inversion boots LLL armwrestles for all OOO~~~ big hugs and large caterpillars for all ))) smiles for all TTT trees for all jjj gooses for all JJJ big gooses for all OOOXXXYYYZZZ this is illegal before marriage in nine states OOOXXXyZZZZZ still illegal, but generally not nearly as well received

Remember, there is much more work to be done to codify and abbreviate excessively clear and understandable sign-off messages and replace them with efficient and incomprehensible international symbols. Please contribute money, suggestions, and chocolate to this worthy cause, and help make conversation boards a better place for assembly-language programmers.

Thank you,

Trygve Lode,

General Secretary (SPUDS)


The Unnatural Enquirer, (C) 1990 by Trygve Lode (tlode@nyx.cs.du.edu) May be reproduced and distributed freely in unmodified form on a noncommercial basis provided this notice remains intact.


Reprinted with permission


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