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My friend Allen Cohn, a former standup comic in San Francisco, was
talking with his dad about his (Allen's) first "hot" date.

Son (nervous): I need to ask you about something.

Dad: Sure.

Son: I was out with this girl last night and we had a great time, but now
     I have this pain, and I wonder if I hurt myself.

Dad: In your testicles?

Son: Yes.  Is it serious?

Dad (concerned): This sounds bad.  Did it start out as a
     dull, cold ache while you were fooling around with her?

Son (worried): Yes.  It's nothing serious, is it?

Dad: Oh, It sounds very bad.  Did it just get worse and worse all night and
     then throb really, really painfully this the morning?

Son: Well ... yes.

Dad: Oh, dear.  I fear the worst.

Son (frantic): No!  What is it?  What does it mean?

Dad: It's the worst thing possible, son, you didn't get laid.

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