1:00 am - Alarm clock rings 2:00 am - Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed 2:30 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up 3:00 am - Leave for the deep woods 3:15 am - Back home to pick up gun 3:30 am - Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent 4:00 am - Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight 4:30 am - Set up camp 6:05 am - Head for the woods 6:06 am - See eight deer 6:07 am - Take aim and squeeze the trigger 6:08 am - CLICK 8:00 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill 9:00 am - Head back to camp 12:00 NOON - Fire gun for help--eat wild berries 12:15 pm - Run out of bullets--eight deer come back 12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach 12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries 12:45 pm - Rescued 12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped 3:00 pm - Arrive back at camp 3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer 4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets 4:01 pm - Load gun--Leave camp again 5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you 6:00 pm - Arrive at camp--see deer grazing in camp 6:01 pm - Load gun 6:02 pm - Fire gun 6:03 pm - One dead pick-up 6:05 pm - Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer 6:06 pm - Repress desire to shoot hunting partner 6:07 pm - Fall into fire 6:10 pm - Change clothes--throw burned ones onto fire 6:15 pm - Take pick-up, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp 6:25 pm - Pick-up boils over--hole shot in block 6:26 pm - Start walking 6:30 pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud 6:35 pm - Meet bear 6:36 pm - Take aim 6:37 pm - Fire gun, blow up barrel--plugged with mud 6:38 pm - Mess pants 6:39 pm - Climb tree 9:00 pm - Bear leaves. Wrap *$%!@#$% gun around treeMidnight - Home at last
[Note - Copyright Paul Auger (pauger@gwi.net) - ed.]