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The Deer Hunt

tony4@stretch.cs.mun.ca (Anthony H. Galway)
CS Dept, Memorial University of Newfoundland
(smirk, swearing)

 1:00 am - Alarm clock rings 
 2:00 am - Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed 
 2:30 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pick-up 
 3:00 am - Leave for the deep woods 
 3:15 am - Back home to pick up gun 
 3:30 am - Set up camp. Forgot the damn tent 
 4:00 am - Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight 
 4:30 am - Set up camp 
 6:05 am - Head for the woods 
 6:06 am - See eight deer 
 6:07 am - Take aim and squeeze the trigger 
 6:08 am - CLICK 
 8:00 am - Load gun while watching deer go over the hill 
 9:00 am - Head back to camp 
12:00 NOON - Fire gun for help--eat wild berries 
12:15 pm - Run out of bullets--eight deer come back 
12:20 pm - Strange feeling in stomach 
12:30 pm - Realize you ate poison berries 
12:45 pm - Rescued 
12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped 
 3:00 pm - Arrive back at camp 
 3:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer 
 4:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets 
 4:01 pm - Load gun--Leave camp again 
 5:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you 
 6:00 pm - Arrive at camp--see deer grazing in camp 
 6:01 pm - Load gun 
 6:02 pm - Fire gun 
 6:03 pm - One dead pick-up 
 6:05 pm - Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer 
 6:06 pm - Repress desire to shoot hunting partner 
 6:07 pm - Fall into fire 
 6:10 pm - Change clothes--throw burned ones onto fire 
 6:15 pm - Take pick-up, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp 
 6:25 pm - Pick-up boils over--hole shot in block 
 6:26 pm - Start walking 
 6:30 pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in mud 
 6:35 pm - Meet bear 
 6:36 pm - Take aim 
 6:37 pm - Fire gun, blow up barrel--plugged with mud 
 6:38 pm - Mess pants 
 6:39 pm - Climb tree 
 9:00 pm - Bear leaves. Wrap *$%!@#$% gun around tree 

Midnight - Home at last

[Note - Copyright Paul Auger (pauger@gwi.net) - ed.]


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