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The future is now from SCC.
Timely introduction of a first generation interactive compiler was made
last week by SCC(Sarcastic Compiler Corporation). SC v1.0, designed in
a garage on an HP-41c, incorporates the latest in interactive text, graphics,
and one-liner technology. A partial list of the features of this new
software innovation includes:
* Instant generation of symbol tables, including extensive abuse of
stupid variable names implemented by the programmer.
* Production of structure tables, which, at no extra time cost, completely
degrade and make fun of the programmer's "feeble attempt at any kind
of top-down, bottom-up, or even moderately less than moronic" program
structure.
* Complete erasure of source code and subsequent trashing of all
directories and randomization of password in the instance of a
programmer trying to utilize a GOTO in his code.
* Commenting is probably one of the most important parts of programming,
and SC v1.0 makes sure that it is done right. Any vague or badly
written comments are flagged and erased. The programmer is then
made to rewrite them correctly and copy them 50 times over so he
won't waste the SC's time again. Programmers unwilling to comply
with this idea are induced to do so by mild electric shocks.
* All compile time errors are cataloged, and extremely abusive
electronic mail discussing these errors and the relative intelligence
of the programmer is sent to all of the programmer's friends,
relatives, and managers. Also, notices are posted on bulletin boards
across the nation and world-wide concerning the ancestry of the
programmer's mother and his/her personal and sexual habits.
Rather than rest on this great accomplishment, SCC is embarking on
an ambitious new project, the designing of a Sarcastic Programming
Environment. There is great interest in the concepts of Sarcastic Editors,
Sarcastic Interpreters, Sarcastic Assemblers and the like. The project will
be named SPECIALIST, for Sarcastic Programming Environment - Cynical, Ignorant,
Alienating, Labour-Inducing Software Trash.
(circa 1985 by kst+rpw)
(From the "Rest" of RHF)
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