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After reading about a poor wretch who had become addicted to vi, I was inspired to compose the following ditty, sung to the tune of "Addicted To Love" by Robert Palmer.

As you sing this, it may help the effect to imagine a dozen women, all of whom resemble Bill Joy, dressed in black and dancing sinuously.

Addicted To Vi (with apologies to Robert Palmer)

You press the keys with no effect, 
Your mode is not correct. 
The screen blurs, your fingers shake; 
You forgot to press escape. 
Can't insert, can't delete, 
Cursor keys won't repeat. 
You try to quit, but can't leave, 
An extra "bang" is all you need. 

You think it's neat to type an "a" or an "i"-- 
Oh yeah? 
You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die 
You know you're gonna have to face it; 
You're addicted to vi! 

You edit files one at a time; 
That doesn't seem too out of line? 
You don't think of keys to bind-- 
A meta key would blow your mind. 
H, J, K, L?  You're not annoyed? 
Expressions must be a Joy! 
Just press "f," or is it "t"? 
Maybe "n," or just "g"? 

Oh--You think it's neat to type an "a" or an "i"-- 
Oh yeah? 
You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die 
You know you're gonna have to face it; 
You're addicted to vi! 

Might as well face it, 
You're addicted to vi! 

You press the keys without effect, 
Your life is now a wreck. 
What a waste!  Such a shame! 
And all you have is vi to blame. 

Oh--You think it's neat to type an "a" or an "i"-- 
Oh yeah? 
You won't look at emacs, no you'd just rather die 
You know you're gonna have to face it; 
You're addicted to vi! 

Might as well face it, 
You're addicted to vi! 



Copyright 1989, by Chuck Musciano.  All Rights Reserved.  
(Used with permission) 
Chuck Musciano, Harris Corporation 

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