General comments on the text: 1) Don't shift tenses. The paper goes from the present to the past tense and then went right back again---frequently within the space of a single paragraph. This is very distracting to the reader. 2) As you already know, many readers find it condescending to be informed that they already know something. Moreover, it is obvious to even the veriest fool that telling him or her that something is obvious is not only condescending, but insulting. 3) Avoidification of neologisms strengthenifies your prosification.
(From the "Rest" of RHF)