(Seen on a poster in a friend's room. Reproduced from memory.) DEPARTMENT OF DEFENCE --------------------- INSTRUCTIONS FOR CIVIL DEFENCE. ON HEARING THE FIRST WARNING: 1. PROCEED TO THE NEAREST BUILDING. 2. STAY AWAY FROM LOOSE OBJECTS, AND DROP ALL GLASSES, BOOKS ETC. IN YOUR HANDS. 3. REMOVE SHARP OBJECTS, SUCH AS PENCILS AND KEYS, FROM YOUR POCKETS. 4. LOOSEN YOUR NECKTIE, UNBUTTON YOUR COAT AND REMOVE RESTRICTIVE ARTICLES OF CLOTHING. 5. REMOVE EYEGLASSES, EARRINGS, WATCHES AND OTHER JEWELRY. 6. UPON SEEING THE BRILLIANT FLASH OF A NUCLEAR EXPLOSION, BEND OVER AND PLACE YOUR HEAD FIRMLY BETWEEN YOUR LEGS. 7. THEN KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE. -- Byron Rakitzis---tbrakitz@phoenix.princeton.edu---tbrakitz@pucc.bitnet
(From the "Rest" of RHF)