National Condom Week

wimp@sphinx.uchicago.edu (Jeff Haferman)
University of Chicago (Information Systems Planning)

(maybe, sexual, some potentially offensive)

THE FOLLOWING IS A LOST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK

COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE YOU HUMP

BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WACKER

DON'T BE SILLY... PROTECT YOUR WILLIE

BEFORE YOU BLAST HER, GUARD YOUR BUSHMASTER

DON'T BE A LONER... COVER YOUR BONER

WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT

YOU CAN'T GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR DONG

IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WACK IT

IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YOUR MONKEY

BEFORE YOU BAG HER, SHEATH YOUR DAGGER

IT'LL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR PETER

IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN THIGHS, BE SURE YOU CONDOMIZE

TO SAVE EMBARRASSMENT LATER, COVER YOUR 'GATOR'

SHE WON'T GET SICK IF YOU CAP YOUR DICK

IF YOU GO INTO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT

WHILE YOU'RE UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP THAT PENIS

WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS N' BLOUSE, SUIT UP THAT TROUSER MOUSE

DON'T DO MORE THAN NECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER

ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT-WRAP YOUR MEMBER

BEFO' DA VAN START ROCKIN', BE SHO' YO' COCK GOTS A STOCKIN'

DON'T BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL

THE RIGHT SELECTION, SACK THAT ERECTION!

WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL

A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER

DON'T BE IN A JIFFY... COVER YOUR STIFFY

[Ed: A lot of people seem to like these, I'm not super keen on 'em, but I'll bow to outside tastes.]

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