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>From: "J. Altman" <fj@panix.com>
>Newsgroups: panix.chat
>Subject: Re: Full text: 'Bin Laden' tape
>Date: Tue, 6 Jan 2004 20:33:06 +0000 (UTC)
>Organization: PANIX Public Access Internet and UNIX, NYC
>Message-ID: <slrnbvm6s0.h77.fj@panix5.panix.com>

On Tue, 6 Jan 2004 03:08:43 -0500, danny burstein wrote:
> [ most snipped. I've left a few paragrahs for some context. there's
> plenty, plenty, more ]
>
> O Muslims: The situation is serious and the misfortune is momentous.

O Shit: The situation is serious, and misfortune is hot on my ass,
which is grass.

> By God, I am keen on safeguarding your religion and your worldly life.

By God, if I am extremely lucky, you guys will do something to bail me
out this mess...because I sure have no tricks to pull out of my ass,
which as I mentioned is grass. Somebody? Anybody?

> So, lend me your ears and open up your hearts to me so that we may examine
> these pitch-black misfortunes and so that we may consider how we can find
> a way out of these adversities and calamities.

HELP ME, GODDAMMIT! SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP ME! FUCK!

> It has become clear that the rulers are not qualified to apply the
> religion and defend the Muslims.

Shit. Those bastards in Saudia Arabia lied out their m***ing asses to
me. Damn.

> In fact, they have provided evidence that they are implementing the
> schemes of the enemies of the nation and religion and that they are
> qualified to abandon the countries and peoples.

By Allah and boy howdy, did I misunderestimate....it's nice to view
myself, and be seen by you all as a post-historical Robin Hood with
hyper-destructive weapons and all, but shit, that m***er Bush is
serious about killing my ass dead.

Dead. You people hear me? Hello? Is this thing on? Hello? Hello?

> Despite the great importance of these rituals, the religion of Islam
> encompasses all the affairs of life, including religious and worldly
> affairs, such as economic, military and political affairs, as well as the
> scales by which we weigh the actions of men - rulers, ulema and others -
> and how to deal with the ruler in line with the rules set by God for him
> and which the ruler should not violate.

As I reflect upon the meaningless piece of shit my life has become, I
am saying my prayers while kissing my ass goodbye. Damn, I fucked up.

[Note - posted with Joe Altman's permission - ed.]

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