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>Subject:  three inch gain guaranteed 

    Dear Rec.Humor.Funny.Guy, 

>Subject: She will start calling it MOBY 

    Recently you selected one of my emails for inclusion on rec.humor.funny. 

>Subject: grow your punypecker 

    I was very happy and honored. 

>Subject: steam up the bedroom once again2 

    And then it happened. 

>Subject: U gain 3 inches or your money back 

    I began getting emails.   

>Subject: go longer with this5 

    Lots of emails.   
  
>Subject: How big is big? 

    From someone obsessed with my... uh... 

>Subject: Plumpeen your pumperr 

    At first I was annoyed. 

>Subject: extend your manhood1 

    Then I got irritated. 

>Subject: three inch length increase guranteed 

    I asked around, wondering where they got my email? 

>Subject: extend your manhood4 

    I never give out my email address. 

>Subject: size matters6 

    I always uncheck the "send us special offers" box 
     
>Subject: simple enlarge the natural way9 

    Then someone said, "Have you ever posted on Usenet?" 

>Subject: simple enlarge the natural way7 

    I said no, otherwise they would get my email... 

>Subject: regain erectile function0 

    uh oh.... 

>Subject: dazzle the ladies3 

    You posted my message.... 

>Subject: You can really gain 2 or 3 inches 

    And at the top, under the subject... 

>Subject: you can beat erectile dysfunction5 

    Was my address. 

>Subject: get the lead out of your7 

    Now I get ten of these a day. 

>Subject: add 3 inches to your manhood 

    Thanks a whole lot. 

>Subject: U gain 3 inches guaranteed 

    Is this what I get for my 15 seconds of fame? 

>Subject: more pensissize2 

    It's not funny anymore. 

>Subject: grow the natural way1 

    Please make it stop. 

>Subject: natural enchacement5 

    I even considered ordering whatever it is. 

>Subject: Light a fire under your lovelife2 

    I was that desperate. 

>Subject: Light a fire under your lovelife7 

    The incessant, non-stop... "you've got mail" 

>Subject: begin your mission to get deeper 

    But I can't even send an email out the door. 

>Subject: feel inadequate under the covers2 

    Please make it go away! 

>Subject: give her all she can take0 

    I can't take it anymore!!!!!!! 

>Subject: get yourself some size2 

    Aieeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! 

>Subject: manlier manhood3 
>Subject: make love the way you want to6 
>Subject: steam up the bedroom windows1 
>Subject: turn your bedroom into a pleasure palace3 
>Subject: Big Bat in the trousers 
>Subject: if you have a fizzle pizzle4 
>Subject: don't feel estranged in your boudoir9 
>Subject: don't feel estranged in your boudoir1 
>Subject: john, more 
>Subject: sizzlingsexlife4 
>Subject: size in short time 
>Subject: best dysfunction products5 
>Subject: firmer harder3 
>Subject: have her quivering with pleasure1 
>Subject: reach her gspot0 
>Subject: live each day to its fullest, this will do it. 
>Subject: Velma babes like them bigger 
>Subject: more mass for you7 

[Note - sender's email (reluctantly) spam-blocked - ed.] 

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