| RHF Joke Archives |

What follows are the latest entries in the one-liner file. These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed.

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>From: smlewis@lordjoe.com (Steven M. Lewis)
>Organization: LordJoe
>Subject: The shape of things to come

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can't even get into my own pants.

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>From: mc1111111@hotmail.com (NSS)
>Organization: Prodigy Internet http://www.prodigy.com
>Subject: Jokes And One Liners

I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?"

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>From: ljohnston@sasktel.net (Lloyd Johnston)
>Subject: My Paycheque

As a contractor, my paycheques are not always the same. My cheque for last week was $1101.10.

My first thought was "I hope they're not paying me in binary"

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>From: hinermad@worldnet.att.net (David Hinerman)
>Subject: Bumper stickers we don't want to see

Michael Jackson is rumored to have asked a local print shop to make a custom bumper sticker for his limo. It was to read: "Have I Hugged Your Kid Today?"

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>From: blood@remove_this.ntlworld.com (DavidB)
>Subject: Viagra

Doctors don't prescribe Viagra to old men because they are impotent - They prescribe it because old women are so ugly.

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>From: bay_bridge_tgv@yahoo.com (Bridge Biker)
>Subject: Dick Gephart

(AP) Reportedly, Dick Gephart is forming an "Exploratory" Committee for his run for President. Their first order of business will be to locate his eyebrows.

(Author: Eric McCaughrin)

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>From: David.Hinerman@ametek.com (David Hinerman)
>Subject: Talk about strange bedfellows

Driving to work this morning I followed a car with a license plate frame that read, "I'd rather be in RENO!" I agreed with the sentiment - it's been snowing for weeks. But then my mind wandered to thoughts of former Attorney General Janet Reno, and decided maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

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>From: wcl@7600.net (Bill Lindemann)
>Subject: Shuttle disaster

While watching the coverage of the shuttle Columbia disaster,
one of the speakers said, "NASA has ruled out sabotage, and
is now turning its attention towards the left wing." After a
moment, the friend who was watching with me said, "darn,
these days they try to blame Liberals for everything."

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>From: larry.kzREMOVE-THIS@gte.net (Larry Krzewinski)
>Subject: Microsoft renames its IIS web server

Because of all the security problems Microsoft has had with its IIS web server it has decided to rename it to Apache II since this week you are Apacheing it here and next week you are Apacheing it there.

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>From: bwoywood@zianet.com (Captain Chlorophyll)
>Subject: Exercise humor (original)

While I was doing my morning sit-ups, I realized something. I do have a six-pack. It's just that there are other groceries on top of it.

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>From: amack@airmail.net (A Mack)
>Subject: making love

Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end an argument is to make love."

"Well," said the other woman," that will certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!"

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>From: jstamaresis@ucdavis.edu (John S. Tamaresis)
>Subject: The first casualty of parenting is innocence

Before becoming a parent, I had 6 theories and no children. After becoming a parent, I have 6 children and no theories.

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>From: kbacks@rogers.com (Kevin Backs)
>Subject: D-I-Y Gender reassignment

A friend of mine just bought a Do-it-Yourself Female-to-Male Sex-change kit on eBay.

Now, she's expecting to get a package in the mail.

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>From: mittra@juno.com (Swapnajit Mittra)
>Organization: http://groups.google.com/
>Subject: D-lite

As reported by MSN.com, rapper-actor Heavy-D said he had lost 135 pounds over the last year.

He also said that from now on he would be delighted to be called as 'D-lite'.

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>From: hpb+@pitt.edu (Harry Bloomberg)
>Subject: Why the Vatican's against gay marriage

I heard the real reason that the Vatican is against gay marriages is because it would reduce the pool of potential priests!

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>From: franks@neth.hp.com (Frank Slootweg)
>Organization: NOYB
>Subject: Bummer!

Sign on classroom door:

"We regret to have to inform you that the course 'Coping with Disappointment' has been canceled."

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>From: delliott@umd.edu (David Elliott)
>Subject: Behind

G. W. Bush talked Tuesday about his No Child's Left Buttock plan-- I call it that 'cause I think it is half-assed.

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