| RHF Joke Archives |

Yet another Iraq digest. These are jokes which are funny, but which didn't really warrant posting separately. I post such a digest whenever I have enough entries to warrant it. Particularly selective readers will probably not enjoy the digests, and may want to killfile RHF jokes with "Digest" in the title - ed.

= = = = = = =
>From: del@branta.demon.co.uk (Del Cotter)
>Subject: Re: Iraq Quickies Digest

I got this one from the letters column of a newspaper

"It's not true that the French are ungrateful for what the Americans did in WW2. In fact they're so inspired by the American example that they plan to wait two years until they personally are attacked, then join the coalition and pretend the war against Saddam was all their idea."

= = = = = = =
>From: kmarriott@bbnp.com (Ken)
>Subject: Poland enters the war

Poland announced it has sent troops to the Gulf to help the coalition forces.

Mexico has no idea what to do with them.

= = = = = = =
>From: rizzardi@echostudio.com (Flavio Rizzardi)
>Subject: That makes us even

[Excerpts from a phone call between George W. Bush and French president Jacques Chirac]

Bush> Remember, Jacques: if it weren't for our help in WWII, now you'd be speaking German.

Chirac> I know, but consider this: if it weren't for our help in the Independence war, you'd be speaking English.

= = = = = = =
>From: pheelicks@yahoo.com (Madison Snyder)
>Subject: Western Culture on the move

As I watched the news of the riots and looting taking place all over Iraq after the Coalition troops moved out I couldn't help but think that they'd already gotten the hang of our latest tradition of having riots in the home town when your team wins the championship.

= = = = = = =
>From: nbelenli@hotmail.com (N. Belenli)
>Subject: Looking forward

At last our prayers have been answered: Iraqi people are about to become free of their anti-democratic, power-crazed, war-mongering, decisive, ruthless ruler.

Now, friends, we start praying for American people.

= = = = = = =
>From: provine@rowan.edu (Darren Provine)
>Subject: Certainly Not In Baghdad

As part of a discussion about what's the most eclectic place in the world, I argued that it had to be New York City. As proof, I offered that New York is the only place in the world where on can find someone from the government of Iraq.

= = = = = = =
>From: rsherman@JJG.com (Sherman, Richard)
>Subject: Subject: Microsoft Hires Muhammed Saeed al-Sahhaf se new Spokesm

(Redmond, Washington)

In the latest press conference regarding the security issues surronunding, newly-hired Micorsoft spokesman Muhammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, reiterated that all security issues have been satisfactorily met in a webcast last Thursday:

"Windows XP is a blessing upon the face of the world. The Linux infidels lie like dogs in a Persian bathhouse when they boldfacedly tell you that Windows XP (R) has security holes. The holes are in their dead, rotting corpses. Windows XP has no faults as befits this blessing from the hands of the most high. I know because I tell the truth"

= = = = = = =
>From: softeng3456@netscape.net (soft-eng)
>Organization: http://groups.google.com/
>Subject: Saddam Hussein (original)

In 1985 Saddam Hussein, feeling no longer well-pampered by the US, complained: "You Americans, you treat the Third World in the way an Iraqi peasant treats his new bride. Three days of honeymoon, and then it's off to the fields."

It took him another 18 years to realize it wasn't at all like an Iraqi peasant wedding. It was like an American wedding, complete with divorce, denunciations, and bitter custody battle.

= = = = = = =
>From: oakes@wcta.net (Charles & Peggy Oakes)
>Subject: French bashing

[Forwarded]

My favorite bumper sticker in Washington D.C. right now is the one that says
'First Iraq, then France'."
-- Tom Brokaw

"The French announced today that they would not help us remove Saddam from
Iraq. Well Duh! They didn't even help us remove Hitler from France."
-- Jay Leno

"France said this week they need more evidence to convince them Saddam is a
threat. Yeah, last time France asked for more evidence it came rollin thru
Paris with a German Flag on it."
-- Dave Letterman

.......and my all time favorite! Why are all the highways in France lined
with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade!!!

France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable
because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because
they live in France.
-- Mark Twain

Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada.
-- Ted Nugent

The only way the French are going in with us is if we tell them we found
truffles in Iraq.

War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
-- The French Army

Q. How do you stop a French Tank?
A. Shoot the guy pushing.

Q. how many Frenchman does it take to defend Paris.
A. We don't know, it's never been tried.

The best French bashing line heard over the last week is: "We can count on
the French to be there when they need us."

= = = = = = =
>From: dfr@bayarea.net
>Subject: New Iraq War Tactics

This is an actual headline from Yahoo! News April 3, 2003:

Rumsfeld Asks Iraqi Military to Turn on Saddam

Well, at least the new war plan is creative, if a little kinky.

= = = = = = =
>From: dd@dandrake.com (Dan Drake)
>Subject: Another Frenchie gone

>From a community broadcaster in Moab, Utah:

Authorities in New York are reporting the disappearance of the Statue of Liberty. Investigators say she was last seen swimming back to France.

| RHF Joke Archives |

Get The Internet Jokebook Featuring the very best of netfunny.com on dead trees.