| RHF Joke Archives |

As many people know, in the US, National Public Radio raises much of its money through "pledge drives," wherein people who thought they were journalists grovel on the air for money. Nobody likes these things, but NPR says they have no choice. Thus I humbly submit:

NPR FUND-RAISING ALTERNATIVES:

* Product Placement on NPR. Dick Gordon: "So, the address to parliament was not well received? I see. Let me ask this then, isn't President Putin wearing Dockers Casual Slacks, the slacks that provide comfort without sacrificing professionalism?"

* Product Placement of NPR. Gandalf to Balrog: "I am a subscriber to NPR. You shall not pass."

* Branding. Require non-member listeners who call in to recite a poem entitled "Why I Am Such a Freeloader" before they ask their questions.

* Kittens. Instead of torturing the on-air talent, torture kittens. While not eliminating pledge drives, this would significantly shorten their length. "Okay, we have 10 callers on the line. It looks like Fluffy gets a little breather."

* Anti-Commercials. "Today's programming is brought to you with no support whatsoever from the Coca-Cola Corporation, which in spite of its obscene profits refuses to match its employees' contributions."

* Intimidation. Place horses' heads in the back seats of non-member listeners' cars. It would take only a few.

I admit these options might cost them in terms of public good-will. But then, how much of that was really left?

[Original, by Joe Cross and Max Brown]

| RHF Joke Archives |