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News item: Our duly-unelected President plans to distribute billions of dollars of taxpayer money to religious institutions for charitable work, over the next 10 years. I'm wondering if he grasps ... well, anything, really ... but in particular, the implications of funding religious groups in a nation whose Constitution forbids a state-sponsored religion. What if a Satanic cult provided charitable services? We might hear the following jingle on TV:

Chorus:
'Cause we're Satan's Little Helpers,
And we know you're in a jam.
When you're in some trouble,
We will give a damn.

Let us take you in
And help you with your plight.
We will say a prayer
Around the fire tonight.

(Chorus)

Are you out of work,
Or do you need some food?
We will get you working
As a dancer in the nude.

(Chorus)

So come right on down
And stop your silly moping
You'll perk right on up
With a friendly group groping.

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