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Mac Installation Procedures

a.s.hodel@eng.auburn.edu (A. Scottedward Hodel)
(smirk, computers, original)

My feeble response to Dave Barry's column on how to install software on a PC:


Hardware and software installation procedures for a Mac:

How to install software:

(1) Get the software CD [no floppies anymore, remember?]
(2) Say out loud, "Now where did I leave my computer." Follow the sound of
the Mac's voice until you find it.
(3) Put in the CD. It goes in the cupholder thing on the front of the
computer.
(4) Think happy thoughts. It worked for Wendy & co. when they went flying
with Peter Pan.
(5) Click on the installer icon. If there's no installer icon, just drag
the CD icon onto your hard drive to copy the program.
(6) When the installer program (or the CD copy operation) is done, you
absolutely MUST do the following steps:
(a) go to your window.
(b) open it.
(c) stick your head outside
(d) yell really really loudly, "EXPLAIN TO ME AGAIN WHY A WINDOWS
MACHINE IS EASIER TO USE!?!"
(7) Your software is now ready to use, once you follow the final
installation procedure below.

How to install hardware on a mac:

(1) If it's a SCSI device or a driver card, turn off your computer.
(2) Attach it to your computer.
(3) If you turned off your computer in step 1, turn it on now.
(4) Install driver software (if any is required) following steps 1-7 above.
(5) Follow final installation procedure (listed just after software
installation procedure).

Final installation procedure:
(1) Both of the above procedures are completed by listening while Windows
users emphatically tell you that you cannot obtain hardware or software
to use with your computer and that no one uses macs anyway. Not even the
girl in Jurassic Park.

(2) This procedure can be especially entertaining if there's a Linux user in
the room. Try to get the Linux guy and the Windows guy to argue with
each other.

(3) Under no circumstances should you argue with the Windows user directly.
That's where road rage comes from.

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