>From: Management
>Subject: Office conduct during the
Christmas season
Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council).
1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder
to make tinsel is discouraged.
2. Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone
is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long
distance bill)
3. Work requests are not to be filed under "Bah humbug."
4. Company cars are not to be used to go over the river
and through the woods to Grandma's house.
5. All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25.
6. Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines.