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When morons come a'pagin' or TALK TERROR!
Volume 3
by Brian "balistic" Prince
true (sortof) accounts of stupidity run terrifyingly rampant
TODAYS LESSON: How to toy with the minds of gimps
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BEEP
Talk request: respond with:
talk loser@lamer.net



talk loser@lamer.net



me: yeah, you rang? ga

them: library

me: uh, a place they keep books. ga

them: go to library

me: are you looking for an online card catalog or something? ga

them: go library.com

me: uh, go eat.flaming.death

them: telnet library

me: you DO realize you're chatting with a human and not a computer. ga

them: library please

me: look, you need a library right? ga

them: y

me: I assume that means yes.  let me connect you (pause between dots) . .
    . . . . .CONNECTED! 

    WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSITY LIBRARY ONLINE
    ENTER ALL REQUESTS BELOW

them: find geophysics

me: . . . .FOUND 2 matches: 

    A: Otis, Weadorer
       "The geopsychics friend network: what do rocks think?"

    B: Spode, Allhayle
       "The physics of bowling"

    PLEASE SELECT A TITLE 

them: b 

me: I SAID SELECT A

them: a

me: ACCESSING (pause between dots) . . . . . ACCESSED!
    TYPE "read" TO OPEN FILE

them: read

me: CONTENTS OF FILE AS FOLLOWS:

    The end.

    TO ACCESS ANOTHER FILE TYPE "find"
    TO EXIT THE LIBRARY TYPE "goodbye"

them: goodbye

me: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND. TRY AGAIN.

them: goodbye please

me: WHAT?

them: exit

me: COMMAND RECOGNIZED. PLEASE TYPE YOUR ACCOUNT PASSWORD BELOW.
    FOR A FASTER EXIT ALSO SEND YOUR PIN, YOUR SSN, AND YOUR CREDIT LIMIT.

them: gmpsRgr8 a76389148-876 1997643-6754 $500

me: GOODBYE.

CONNECTION CLOSED: EXITING

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