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An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the the artist....

......"Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex. "

"But you are not wearing any of those things."

"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.

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