Sun has announced a new Java API, JINI, that will allow items with embedded processors to talk to one another. The press release imagined that kitchen appliances which implement this protocol would increase our enjoyment of cooking. This has caused a series of satirical postings to a Java developers mailing list that I am part of.

First there was discussion as to the cost of including the necessary processor to run Java in a toaster. This was resolved by deciding that in you used a Pentium chip you could do away with the toaster's heating element. Then today the following interaction occurred:

>Subject: Re: Freezer (so far off topic as to be ridiculous)
>>I just bought a new freezer. Did I make a big mistake by not buying one
>>with a built-in net connection and web browser?
>
>Sure. One of the features I like most about my freezer is that he sends me
>emails to inform me that particular groceries need to be used up soon.
>And, of course, that he emails my supermarket for a new sixpack as soon as
>the daily stock-taking reveals the supply of Budweiser is less than 3
>bottles...

Consider this scenario.

You go to put your jini milk in the jini fridge and for no apparent reason (some software conflict probably) the fridge refuses to accept it. No matter what you do the fridge just keeps telling you there is no milk. So you just decide bugger it, it's still keeping the milk cold, but then when you go to make your breakfast porridge the microwave won't turn on because the fridge has told it there's no fresh milk. Neither will the element on the stove work because the house has determined you are trying to cook up spoiled milk.

now there's a horror movie just begging to happen.

cheers