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Women

Car Parking:
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of
19.36m, equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. E. Simpkins
(GB) driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova Swing on 12th October 1993. She
started the manoeuvre at 11:15am in Roper Street, Pontefract, and
successfully parked within three feet of the pavement, 8 hours 14 mins
later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and the
two adjoining cars, as well as shop frontage and two lampposts.

Incorrect Driving:
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 313 miles
from Stranraer to Holyhead, by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB), at the wheel of a Saab
900 on 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey
at Aird, but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear
wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed with
the choke fully out and the right indicator flashing.

Traffic Light Cosmetics:
The longest spell spent oblivious to traffic lights whilst applying make up
was one of 1hr 51min 38sec by Miss J. Dobson (GB) at a road junction in the
centre of Preston on the 1st August 1975. Miss Dobson, a piano teacher,
beautified herself through 212 cycles of the light, creating a tailback of
irate motorists stretching 28 miles towards the Lake District.

Group Toilet Visit:
The record for the largest group of women to visit a toilet simultaneously
is held by 147 workers at the dept. of Social Security, Long Benton. At
their annual celebration at a nightclub in Newcastle upon Tyne on 12th Oct
1994, Mrs. Beryl Crabtree (GB) got up to go to the toilet and was
immediately followed by 146 other female members of the party. Moving en
masse, the group entered the toilet at 9:52pm and after waiting for everyone
to finish, emerged 2hrs 37mins later.

Men

Expletives:
On 9th June 1996, Mr. Harold Brayson (GB) struck his thumb with a
stonemason's mallet whilst breaking concrete in his back yard in Tewkesbury,
Gloucestershire. He went on to swear for 14min 7sec without stopping once or
repeating a swear word. He later attempted to better this feat on BBC TV's
Record Breakers programme by dropping a car battery on his foot. It ended in
failure when he repeated the word 'bastard' after 12mins 58secs.

Holiday Gymnastics:
The greatest number of press-ups done in front of some girls on a beach is 6
by Wayne Fletcher (GB) whilst on holiday in San Antonio, Ibiza on 19th
August 1988. The girls went off with a waiter.

Car Customisation:
Judged as a proportion of the overall value of the car, the accessories
fitted to the Mark 2 Escort of Wayne Fletcher (GB) add up to the world's
most expensive car customisation project at 105761%. Between 8th March 1986
and 22nd September 1996, Fletcher has spent a grand total of 63,456.99 at
the Stockport branch of Halfords in attempt to attract girls to his vehicle.
His fruitless purchases include a Paddy Hopkirk Full Body Styling Kit
(3500), 'Nightrider' style Disco Stop Lights (199), Split 45 Weber
Carburettors x4 (200), Scorpion Talking Alarm, (500) and a Chromium
plated Mock Twin Exhaust Extension (285). The car is currently valued at
50 to 60.

Beer Drinking:
The greatest amount of beer drunk before going to the lavatory was 25.5
litres (45 pints) of assorted weak lagers, by Mr. George Wingfield (GB)
downed in various pubs in Knutsford, Cheshire between 12:15pm and 2:38pm on
22nd December 1986.

Urinating:
The longest urination delivered at one continuous scoot was one of 36 mins
24secs by Mr George Wingfield (GB) in the doorway of a newsagent's shop in
Knutsford High Street on 22nd December 1986. Mr Wingfield was arrested and
charged with a public order offence 17 mins into his record attempt, but
arresting officers had to wait a further 19mins 24sec before taking him back
to the station, where he reputedly broke the world falling downstairs'
record. However, this could not be substantiated because there were
apparently no witnesses.

Hottest Curry Eaten:
Many claims are made about the ferocity of curries eaten, but in the main
they are difficult to substantiate. The hottest verifiable curry eaten was a
XXX Hot Chicken Murg Phaal with extra chillies consumed by George Wingfield
(GB) at the Bengal Tiger Restaurant, Knutsford on 23rd December 1986. The
curry was reportedly so hot that between kitchen and table it spontaneously
burst into flames, singeing the waiter's eyebrows.

Biggest Gaseous Excretion:
The largest and most catastrophic 'botty burp' was one dropped by Mr. George
Wingfield (GB) in the car park of the Dog and Duck, Knutsford, on the
morning of the 24th December 1986. Suffering from bad guts, Mr. Wingfield
gingerly attempted to squeeze one out whilst bending to pick up his car
keys, but the resulting flatulent explosion blew his entire digestive tract
out of his anus. Attending firemen hosed down his smoking guts for two hours
before paramedics with breathing apparatus could begin the process of
pushing them back up.

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