This is the side-effect of watching too much VH1 lately. It's amazing and depressing how well the pattern holds.
*****
Back in the <decade>, young fresh-faced <name of artist> had a
skyrocketing career with a single that went to <small number> on the
charts.
<He/She/They> lived in the fast lane and quickly ended up abusing
<drugs/alcohol/spouses> until finally <he/she/they>
a) lost their gig
b) had an <overdose/accident>
c) found God
So, where are they now?
<name of artist>
a) lived off royaties in semi-obscurity for years
b) went bankrupt due to the <drugs/alcohol/lawsuits>
c) died
Now, <he/she/they>
a) has an amazingly bleak dead-end job
b) is playing reunion gigs at bars
c) is enjoying a royalty surge since their one hit became a comercial
jingle
but is now attempting to mount a comeback.
<Name of artist> says they've never been happier now that they
a) are off drugs
b) only have a normal job
c) have bankrupcy protection
d) found God
...though <he/she/they> still has hopes for the comeback.