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Space Oddity '98 (to the tune of Space Oddity by David Bowie)

Ground control to Major Glenn
Ground control to Major Glenn
Take your Geritol and put your dentures in.

[Background] 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Ground control to Major Glenn
Commencing countdown, breaking wind.
Avoid exhaustion and may good luck be with you.

Liftoff

This is ground control to Major Glenn.
You've really made the news
And the papers want to test that tang you drink.
Now its time to do some science, don't you think?

This is Major Glenn to ground control
I'm starting the first test.
And I'm aging in a most peculiar way.
All my scars look very different today.

For here am I floating in a space plane
Far above the world.
Vericose veins are blue
And there's so much I must do.

Though I've lived five hundred thousand hours
I'm feeling very ill.
I just hope my vomit knows which way to go.
Tell the crew we need some cleanup here.
They know!

Ground control to Major Glenn
Your pulse has gone, there's something wrong.
Can you hear me Major Glenn?
Can you hear me Major Glenn?
Can you . . .

Here am I floating in a space plane
Far above the world.
Vericose veins are blue
And there's so much I must do.

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