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Dr. Laura Schlesinger aired this on her radio program.
She says it was faxed to her but gives no source.

How to Impress a Woman
Compliment her
Cuddle her
Kiss her
Caress her
Love her
Stroke her
Tease her
Comfort her
Protect her
Hug her
Hold her
Dine her
Listen to her
Care for her
Stand by her
Support her
Go to the ends of the earth for her

How to Impress a Man
Show up naked
Bring beer

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