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[From a mailing list, origination burried in multilevel headers...
attribution in 1st line]

                    FOOD AND HEAVEN
                      - Submitted by Marilyn Bond
                  ---------------------------------

This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died
in a car crash.  They had been in good health the last ten years mainly
due to her interest in health food, and exercise.

When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their
mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath
suite and Jacuzzi.

As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was
going to cost.

"It's free," Peter replied, "this is Heaven."

Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the
home backed up to.  They would have golfing privileges everyday and
each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf
courses on earth.

The old man asked, "what are the green fees?".

Peter's reply, "This is heaven, you play for free."

Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with
the cuisines of the world laid out.

"How much to eat?" asked the old man.

"Don't you understand yet?  This is heaven, it is free!" Peter replied
with some exasperation.

"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man
asked timidly.

Peter lectured, "That's the best part...you can eat as much as you like
of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. 
This is Heaven."

With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat
and stomping on it, shrieking wildly.

Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was
wrong.  The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your
fault!  If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been
here ten years ago!" 

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