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My friend John had to write a parody of "Beowulf" for his Medievel Lit. class. I thought it was too good not to pass on.

(You may remember this number from the "rock opera" that took an unflinching and highly personal look at the isolation, bitterness, and, frankly, the "grim corpse-hunger" that is the price of being a darkness-walking fiend from hell. It met with mixed reviews. Critics disliked its overwrought symbolism, such as the recurring theme of "The Hall.")

----- 
(Grendel's) Mother 

 	(from "The Hall." Columbia Records, c. 750 AD. Out of print.) 

Mother, I'd like to eat some Scylds. 
Mother, will I have to pay wergild? 
Mother, I can't stand their merriment at all 
	Mother, should I storm the Hall? 
Mother, couldn't they have offered me some mead? 
Mother, I'm off to find Hrothgar's friends and feed. 
Mother, how'd ya get involved with a guy like Cain? 
	Mother, they'd never let me be a thane! 
    
CHORUS: Hush now Grendel, Grendel, dont you cry. 
Mother's gonna let you rampage from the swamp 
Mother's gonna let you take your deadly corpse-romp, 
Mother knows teen ogres can have a hard time, 
they naturally have these grim feuds with mankind. 
Mama will keep Grendel sinewey-strong, 
Ooooh Grendel, ooooh Grendel, oooooh Grendel, 
Of course you should perturb the Hall. 
    
Mother I'm back from Danish turf 
Mother did ya think of Beowulf? 
Mother, he just ripped your little troll apart! 
	Ooooh, Mother, did I have to ransack Heorot? 

Hush now baby, baby, dont you cry. 
Mama's gonna go invade the hall for you 
Mama won't let ordinary swords get through (etc.) 

Ooooh Grendel, oooh Grendel oooh Grendel, 
You'll always be Grendel to me. 
  
(grandiose lute solo) 
  
Mother, have you seen my arm? (sudden ending) 

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