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Police hit snag in Texas standoff

rapawy@stanford.edu (Greg Rapawy)
Stanford University; Stanford, CA 94305
(topical, smirk, original)

FORT DAVIS, Texas (RHF) -- The recent armed standoff between police and
militant Texan separatists in Fort Davis has taken an unexpected turn.

A Federal agent, speaking on condition of anonymity, has confided that
Richard McLaren, the leader of the group at bay, "doesn't appear to
think he's God."

"It's very frustrating," said the agent, adding that police tactics for
such situations have been formulated based on the experience of previous
confrontations with the Branch Davidians in Waco, TX, and the Freemen in
Montana.  "We're absolutely prepared to go in there and deal with
another would-be messiah or two, maybe a bunch of self-declared
prophets, but these guys just aren't playing along."

Police refused to comment on rumors that they plan on playing hymns
around the clock to encourage McLaren to delusions of divinity.  A local
resident, however, noted that even though the militant leader remains
obstinately aware of his own mortality, "he does seem to think he's
George Washington.  Maybe that will help."

(From the "Rest" of RHF)


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